I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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