I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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