at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
