Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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