How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
