Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
