Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
