I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
