Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I had your ass I would rule the world
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize