One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
