What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
