it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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