Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
