I want to make a zoo with you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
