I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
