Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
