Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
