I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
