Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
