Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Non-Jews are for practice
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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