we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
