i don't like sucking hair
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize