he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
