its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
