big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
