So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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