She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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