i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
