Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
