why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
