I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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