he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That accounts for only three of the penises
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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