I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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