Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
