We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize