How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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