Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
