Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize