I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
