I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
