ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
