i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
