so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
