I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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