just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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