It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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