Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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