he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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