I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize