i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
