So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This is classic penis vs brain.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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