sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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