We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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