It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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