so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish you could order shots online.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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