Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
now i know why i became what i already was.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
