I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize