My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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