so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize