The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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