can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
