When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
pop tarts are not kleenex
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize