imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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